Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
