dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
