lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He felt like a one man threesome
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
