did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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