How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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