Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
