dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
