Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize