My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
its liver damage thursday
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
