The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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