just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
