cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
a search helicopter?!
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
