I just made out with a guy for $7.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
