This is the prime rib incident all over again
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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