Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
