Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
