so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
