its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Well I just put wine in my tea
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
