i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
