He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
