I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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