i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
