Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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