I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
