Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You smell like stripper and shame
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
