The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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