woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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