He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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