erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I have post one night stand depression
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