I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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