I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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