this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
