1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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