Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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