i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
