so explain again why im purple
no
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
apparently the secret to your success is patron
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
