Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
