Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
