You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
