just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
