We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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