I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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