I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
