I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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