I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
everyone is single if you try hard enough
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
