i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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