its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
