Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
