I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
