Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
