i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Still dying that you shit outside
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
